I've been debating whether or not to write about this, but seeing that is a pivotal moment in the journey of this blog... I feel I must. For most of you who know me, you know my reasoning for coming to Paris. For those of you who don't, I did as most love story clichés play out. Met an amazing guy on a whirlwind weekend, and two weeks later, he moved in with me. Fell in love, quit my job, and moved to Paris with -but not completely for- said guy. Then the plot reached the climax, where the two who were once so carefree and crazy about each other realized it just wasn't meant to be.
Crazy at the beginning... and crazy until the end.
This all of course, happened on April Fool's Day. I couldn't have picked a worse day to change my Facebook status. Seriously. I spent the next two days explaining to my friends that yes, we did break up, and no, it's not an April Fool's joke. Joke's on me.
It was completely mutual... but the sting still lingers here and there. I'd been denying to myself that our problems were anything serious for quite some time. The whole move to Paris wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I blamed it on the weather. I blamed it on the language barrier. In the end, it was much more simple. We both just wanted different things in life. For me, the fact that our relationship was heading towards the breaking point didn't come into focus until this trip to San Sebastian. I just realized how much more "myself" I was in Spain. More carefree, more outgoing, more me. Maybe it was the sun, or the ocean, or the people, but something about San Sebastian just felt... right.
So here I am, 2 weeks later... about to board a plane. Strangely, the timing couldn't be any more ironic. For the next 5 weeks, I'll be visiting my family in the Philippines, exploring Taiwan, and spending a week in Shanghai with some great friends. It's the perfect time for me to clear my head. Reboot my life. And when I return? I'll be heading back down to San Sebastian.
My goal in this whole life change was to push myself. To find myself. To experience new cultures. To cook new things, speak a different language, and travel. I don't regret a thing. I've done a lot in the past 10 months. I've semi-learned to speak French, and I can understand it quite well. I've traveled a bit, and learned a lot about French culture. I've eaten a lot of things I've never eaten before and cooked a lot of things I've never cooked before. Even still, I don't feel I've fully accomplished what I came there to do... even though I don't exactly know what that is. I'm not ready to go back to the States, which is why I'll be spending the summer in Spain. It's something I need to do for myself... a stop before going back home. Wherever that may be.
What about the blog? Well, yes, it sucks that the namesake of this blog doesn't quite fit the bill anymore... but I'm not giving up on it. I love it too much. So instead of teaching myself how to walk, talk, and cook like the French, my purpose for this blog will be a journal of my travels, eating experiences, and understanding what it means to be misunderstood. Heck, I may even throw in a recipe or two.